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Mastectomy Dreams (could've been the anesthesia)

Jul. 7th, 2009 | 06:11 am

 The night of my mastectomy brought about surreal dreams. Neither awake nor asleep I floated in another space, not sure it was of my own making. The meds probably assisted with the experience.

I was running down the street at the side of my house, the one parallel to my bedroom window. The moon was full and inviting. As this was my dream, no clothes were necessary, just the scratchy hospital blanket that has that oh so sanitized smell and feel. 

As I ran towards her, Neesa, my Crone, the blanket dropped away and it was just me all alone, both breasts in the moonlight. She called me to her full bosom and I kept running, only to realize that there I was in the hospital bed, one breast that fed my children was physically gone, although forever present.

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Weeds Entangle my Mind..again

Apr. 10th, 2009 | 08:22 pm
mood: contemplativecontemplative

 Partially asleep with only one foot in this world, I stumble into my garden. Just yesterday I cracked open the sleeping Earth and uprooted it's uncultivated inhabitants, preparing a new bed to nurture my Sacred Hopi Blue Dent Corn seeds. As I plop down on my old oak stump centering myself for a good morning sit, I notice  the weeds of yesterday, in a pile still strong,vibrant green. Meanwhile, 2 feet away my meticulously cared for RainBow Chard is beginning to wilt. A laugh conjured from deep within escaped as I remembered a poem from Zen master Dogen:

"Flowers fall amid our clinging and weeds thrive amid our disdain."

MmmHmmm. So true.

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